Buffoonery: “Diamond Lane Self Select Program”
by Judd WileyMay 11th, 2008, 4:23 pm
The stupid idiots at the Transportation Security Administration have created a new system to speed up airport security lines, the “Diamond Lane Self-Select Program.”
The system allows passengers to select which security lane they think is most appropriate to their traveling needs. The options are:
- Expert - for the business traveler who flies several times a month
- Casual- for passengers who travel less frequently, but are familiar with the security process
- Family/Special Assistance - for passengers traveling with small children or strollers, elderly passengers and passengers who may need special assistance
An interesting concept, if people actually choose to stand in the appropriate lines. But what happens in reality?
Maggie Lineback of Fox News’ On The Scene delivers a first hand report.
I just experienced the Diamond system myself at Houston Hobby. As I approached the Expert line, I saw a bunch of guys in suits. … But as I got closer, I noticed it was a LONG line of guys in suits. I glanced over at the casual line. It looked about the same. Family and Special Assistance Lane? No waiting. …
I stayed put and began to get annoyed. The alleged business travelers at the head of the line looked like they were sure taking a lot of time to get their items in the bins. …
To show my disgust and perhaps encourage others to follow my lead, I pulled out my laptop and ziplock baggie with 3 oz toiletries. See? I’m ready for the head of the line. And then, it was as if the gods of airport security had heard me and intervened. A TSA agent whisked me from my spot in line across to the Family/Special Assistance lane where there was no waiting. …
In other words, the intended purpose of the system fails, and no one saves any time.
How many TSA clowns did it take to come up with this one?
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