JetBlue: Toilet Seats Now Available
by Lewis DerkinsMay 13th, 2008, 1:38 pm
JetBlue, whose motto is “happy jetting,” happily sentenced Mr. Gokhan Mutlu to a three hour toilet seat ride on Feb 23rd.
While a seemingly amusing story on the face, it points to larger problems with the airline industry.
How hard is it to book the correct number of seats for your flight? If the issue is that people will always cancel at the last minute and you want to fill the planes, then raise the prices a bit to accommodate a few empty seats.
I would rather pay $20 extra than ride the white lightning all the way from San Diego to New York. Can you imagine how you must smell after getting out of there? That kind of smell gets in your clothes and hair. Your dinner would probably taste like a urinal cake.
How much of an idiot do you have to be as a pilot to allow this to happen? You are in charge of the plane and everyone in it, including the flight crew. You are also involved in an industry that is rooted in customer service. Who cares if your flight attendant wants to be “more comfortable”? What about your customers – yeah genius, the ones who pay your salary by keeping your sorry airline in business?
Tell your flight attendant to shut her whining trap. She’s getting paid to WORK, not jet across the country in comfort; your passengers are paying for that luxury.
What the hell happened to our Passenger Bill of Rights, Congress? Oh yeah, that’s right, a federal court shot it down and you guys haven’t stepped up to do anything. It isn’t enough that you tools force the Terribly Stupid Administration on us, but then we are held at the mercy of airlines like this for hours in confined spaces and if we resist we have to face the TSA Gestapo. You clowns need to switch from the cannon that shoots out people to the flying trapeze because you’re becoming truly professional clowns.
In my opinion, here’s what JetBlue should do. First, they should grant free flights to all of those people they stranded last year with their colossal screw up. They should fill a plane with those people and feed them nothing but bean enchiladas, deviled eggs and whole garlic cloves for four hours before takeoff. They should disable the fan in the bathroom and make the pilot who did this sit in the toilet for an entire trip from New York to Honolulu, Hawaii. He should have to vacate his “seat” every time a passenger needs to do his business, and should immediately be forced to return to the restroom due to “turbulence” once the deed is done.
Customers should be encouraged to be as messy as possible about their business too.
The prissy flight attendant should be forced to sit on a seat cushion filled with rocks in the cargo hold. She should have to help clean out the restroom after the flight lands.
Mr. Mutlu should be allowed to serve as flight attendant for the trip. His only responsibility would be to ensure that all normal passengers are constantly supplied with Exlax, and the special “passengers” keep to their seats. Mr. Mutlu should also win his suit, and the pilot and flight attendant should have to pay the damages.
I wonder how customer service might improve across the airline industry if this little solution was implemented.
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Posted in Airlines, Airports, Congress, Government Workers |
