Lexicon
Boondoggle, n. A wasteful and unnecessary project or activity, government initiated and taxpayer-dollar funded.
Buffoon, n. A fool.
Burger Flipper, n. Riff-raff that formerly worked at fast food restaurants, but have since become a source of cheap labor for government jobs. See: Jobs Program.
Bus Uncle, vb. To react so disproportionately to a situation or circumstance that you actually spin off into outer space in ever decreasing concentric circles. Watch the original video.
Car Hater, n. A person who believes that the internal combustion engine is the root of all evil. See: Weenie, Radical Bicyclist, Urbanist, Environmentalism.
Car Pool Lane, n. Left hand lane of a highway, often indicated by a large diamond symbol. An express lane for those so inclined. See: HOV Lane, Diamond Lane.
Car Tax, n. A money-grabbing policy designed by greedy government hacks who’ve exceeded their budgets.
Checked Baggage Screening, n. An opportunity for TSA-employed thieves, burglars, and ex-cons to steal sunglasses, cameras, cigars, and loose cash.
Circus, n. A legislative body, such as the U.S. Senate or House of Representatives, in full session.
Clown, n. A legislator who refuses to do the bidding of those who elected him. See: Circus.
Congestion Pricing, n. The unproven hypothesis that charging angry commuters a premium for driving on taxpayer-dollar-funded roads at peak hours will reduce congestion.
Diamond Lane, n. A failed social engineering experiment, resulting in untold hours of commuter misery. See: Car Pool Lane, HOV Lane.
E-ZPass, n. A technological marvel that allows 70% of drivers to quickly pass through toll collection points. A source of great distrust and suspicion among the other 30%.
Environmentalism, n. A belief system that puts animals and plants before human beings. See: Global Warming.
Fraud, Waste, and Abuse, n. The current state of government affairs.
Global Warming, n. A discredited scientific hypothesis that is used by gutless government hacks to justify higher taxes, fees, and tolls.
Government Worker, n. A lazy, ill-dressed, incompetent buffoon. Previously a burger flipper. Charged with spending taxpayer dollars as fast as possible.
Gutless, adj. Referring to public officials or media commentators who refuse to take unpopular positions on difficult issues because they are afraid of being criticized.
Hack, n. or adj. A breathtakingly incompetent fool, usually in a position of power or influence. Describes the majority of government administrators.
HOV Lane, n. High Occupancy Vehicle Lane. Allows mothers to get their kids to school before everyone else can get to work. See: Car Pool Lane.
Jobs Program, n. The hiring of burger flippers and other riff-raff into government jobs in order to reduce unemployment or revitalize economically depressed areas.
Junk Science, n. Scientific data, research, and analyses that is (A) manufactured for political or ideological purposes and (B) completely incorrect. See: Global Warming.
Lexus Lane, n. A highway express lane for wealthy Americans who can afford to pay $1 per mile at peak hours; also known as a High Occupancy Toll (HOT) Lane.
Living Wage, n. The latest hourly rate demanded by government workers and other riff-raff.
Mark Gorton, vb. To use money that you earned via the capitalist free-market system to fund schemes and experiments intended to stifle and squash that very same capitalist free-market system. Watch his promotional video.
Mugheaded Yard Ape, n. An offensive and derogatory term for a black person, used incorrectly and irresponsibly on this site by a radical bicyclist in reference to Judd and Lewis. From this point forward: An ill-bred left-wing ignoramus who’s so stupid that he doesn’t even realize he’s made a racial slur.
NIMBY, n. Not In My Backyard. Typical attitude of rich snobs who vote against highway or Metrorail expansions in their neighborhoods.
Parking Lot, n. Highways during rush hour.
Radical Bicyclist, n. A bicyclist who wants to force everyone else to ride bikes too, because he says so. See: Weenie.
Red Light Cameras, n. A new technology that causes rear-end collisions when drivers slam on their brakes to avoid paying a computer-generated fine.
Riff-Raff, n. or adj. Rubbish, trash; worthless.
Road Rage, n. A common and understandable reaction to endless traffic jams and slow or incompetent drivers.
Security Screening, n. The daily harassment of old women and babies.
Sideshow, n. Similar to a circus; a smaller regulatory body that isn’t subject to the power of voters.
Social Engineering, n. Reckless fiscal and policy experimentation in an attempt to create a perfect world. See: Car Pool Lanes, Congestion Pricing, Red Light Cameras.
Social Responsiveness, n. A harmonious reaction by government officials to the attitudes and behaviors of a majority of the people that elected them; very rare.
Taxpayer Dollars n. A revenue stream for government boondoggles.
Traffic Jam, n. The daily result of the government’s refusal to build more lanes on highways, roads, bridges, and tunnels.
Urbanist, n. See: Car-hater.
Weenie, n. A fragile, cynical, self-obsessed hedonist who thinks the American family is a quaint anachronism, possesses more patriotism toward the U.N. than the U.S., has much more money than the average person, and is passionately devoted to left-wing environmental causes. See: Wussification, Environmentalism.
Wussification, n. A weakening or abating of previous strength or willpower, e.g. the Wussification of America.
